


the best story that i could ever tell

by starlight_sugar



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4593780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight_sugar/pseuds/starlight_sugar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter doesn’t even blink as he says, “His name’s Costa. Costa McClure.”</p><p>Or: the one where Peter accidentally tells John and the flat that he's dating Costa, and then has to date Costa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the best story that i could ever tell

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Daisy](http://peterdonaldson.tumblr.com) for chatting about McDonaldson and [Lee](http://hey-loup-gerou.tumblr.com) for offering to make me mashed potatoes if I wrote this. You guys rock.
> 
> At time of posting, the newest videos are LLL 18 and Jaquie's audition. This will be jossed by the morning, but I'm okay with that. I wrote this at midnight and it's not beta'd, so it might be a bit rough around the edges. The title is from [Anything For You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvHeYawq0N8) by Ludo.

The worst part is that Peter knows it’s a mistake. He knows it’s a mistake before he says it, and even worse is the fact that he doesn’t need to say it.

It’s just that he’s tired of this bullshit rule about dating and relationships. He’s not an idiot, he knows that the rule exists solely to keep him from bringing people round, and he’s not sure what he did to deserve being targeted. It’s that he’s frustrated with everything going on in the flat, and John asks the wrong question at the wrong moment.

But John, in their every-other-weekend Skype session, doesn’t know any of that. He doesn’t know that Peter is ready to punch Ben in the jaw at any given moment, or that he wants the freedom to date who he wants without his damn flatmates’ input. And he’s home alone, so there’s nobody to stop him, no camera, no consequences.

So John says, “Are you seeing someone?” and without a second’s hesitation, Peter says yes.

John doesn’t bring it up again for the rest of the call. He doesn’t even ask any questions about who Peter’s dating, which he appreciates. If he doesn’t get specific, then he can just tell John that they broke up in a couple weeks. It’s not a problem. It shouldn’t be a problem.

Except then John shows up on the flat’s front stoop, and Peter realizes he’s fucked.

.

“I need you to be honest with me, Freds,” Peter says, because he can trust Freddie to be more honest with him than Ben or Balth. She doesn’t know him well enough to be comfortable lying to him. “If I had a steady relationship instead of flings, do you think we would’ve dropped the no-relationships rule?”

Freddie studies him, eyes narrowing. Ben and Balth are in town right now, so it’s just him and her and the knock on the door. Peter knows he probably looks desperate, but he really needs a yes.

“Why do you want to know,” Freddie says at last.

Peter sighs. Looks like he needs to stick with this lie. “Because I’ve been dating someone steadily for a couple weeks now.”

Freddie whips around to stare at the door. “Is that them?”

“No, it’s my brother John.”

“From Ben’s videos?”

“From Ben’s-” Peter sighs. Of course she’s seen the videos. “Yes, from Ben’s videos. He already knows I’m dating someone, and I didn’t want to ambush you like this, but I didn’t want him to tell you either.”

“And you want to be able to keep seeing this person without fear of being punished?”

“Exactly. And if we dropped the rule, Ben and Bea could be together, and you could go after your barista, and Balth could have Kit, and-”

“No changes in the rules,” Freddie says, sympathetic but firm. “But I want to meet them.”

Shit. “What’s the point if I can’t keep seeing them?”

“I want to know all your dirt, Donaldson.” Freddie pats him on the arm. “And between you and me, the boys will be more okay with it if it’s someone steady. They’ll still try to punish you, but you’ll be fine. Probably.”

“Good,” Peter sighs. He can hold off on the conversation with Ben and Balth till they’re back. Right now, he has a brother he hasn’t seen in months on his doorstep, and that takes priority.

“So what’s their name?” Freddie says, just as Peter pulls the door open. John is standing there, overnight bag in hand, looking smug as all hell, and he luckily diverts Freddie’s attention. She looks him up and down before nodding. “The other Donaldson?”

“The other roommate.” John offers a terse smile before turning to Peter. “Surprise!”

“Count me as surprised,” Peter says, but he goes in for the hug anyways. John accepts it, warm if stiff, and Peter’s surprised by just how glad he is to see him again. “What are you doing here?”

John shrugs and pulls back, the line of his shoulders looser. “Mum and Dad thought it’d be a nice surprise to send me up for the night. They were assuming you’d put me up for the night. I was more than happy to come, because I want to see who my brother’s dating.”

“Me, too,” Freddie adds, shooting Peter an inscrutable look, and he feels rather like he’s under a microscope. “He didn’t tell us he was seeing anyone. I haven’t even gotten a name yet.”

“Neither have I.” John raises his eyebrows at Peter. “Out with it, then. Who is it?”

And for some godforsaken reason, Peter doesn’t even blink as he says, “His name’s Costa. Costa McClure.”

Yeah, this might be a mistake.

.

 **To: Costa McClure (3:17 PM)**  
i have an awkward favor to ask

 **To: Costa McClure (3:18 PM)**  
not play-related, personal

 **From: Costa McClure (3:20 PM)**  
Anything for a fellow thespian! With what can I aid you?

 **To: Costa McClure (3:23 PM)**  
i told my brother i was dating someone but i’m not

 **To: Costa McClure (3:24 PM)**  
he asked for a name + yours was the first i thought of

 **To: Costa McClure (3:24 PM)**  
so i need you to come over and pretend to date me

 **To: Costa McClure (3:26 PM)**  
he’s only here for tonight and tomorrow and after that my flatmates’ll probably “break us up”

 **To: Costa McClure (3:32 PM)**  
i can pay you if you need?

 **To: Costa McClure (3:41 PM)**  
guess you can’t do it. sorry to bother you

 **From: Costa McClure (3:48 PM)**  
Would you like me to join you to dinner?

 **To: Costa McClure (3:49 PM)**  
you are a HERO

.

Ben takes the news predictably well: he accuses Peter of lying (true, although not how Ben suspects) and going behind their backs (false) and breaking the rules (situationally true), which means he has to be punished. Balth doesn’t seem to mind overly much, although Peter catches a flash of hurt in his eyes for a second.

Truth be told, Peter could’ve said he was dating Balthazar and gotten no surprise, a lift on the rules, and a surprised yes from Batlh. He knows he could’ve, but that’s exactly why he couldn’t. It’d feel too much like playing into Ben’s hands, because Ben has definitely been trying to play matchmaker. Besides, whatever he had with Balthazar, he doesn’t think he has it anymore.

John falls into their flat like he belongs there, eating their food on their couch and asking about classes. He seems genuinely interested when Freddie mentions a literature course she’s in, and he puts up with Ben’s obnoxious ribbing with plenty of eye-rolls. After a little while, he starts texting while Ben’s talking. He tells them he’s texting Meg, which sets Ben off on a spiel about Vlogbrothers and ukuleles. In reality, he’s texting Peter, talking shit about Ben, and Peter has never been more delighted by his brother.

“Paige and Chelsey know Costa,” Balthazar says out of nowhere, cutting off Ben’s tirade about vlogs as a modern epistolary phenomenon or whatever bullshit he’s spouting.

John raises his eyebrows. “Paige and Chelsey?”

“A couple of friends,” Freddie explains. “Do they really? I haven’t heard of this Costa till today.”

Balth nods. “He’s trying to run some kind of play, they auditioned for roles.”

“Oooooh, a dramatist,” Ben says, wiggling his fingers. “Our Petey knows how to pick ‘em.”

“I have nothing if not good taste,” Peter deadpans. Costa is coming for dinner, and Peter is going to have to buy him free tapas for the next dozen times they go out to pay him back for this. He’s lucky that the first person he thought of was an actor. Besides, knowing Costa, he’ll think of it as some kind of improv exercise. Dinner is going to go swimmingly.

.

 **From: Costa McClure (5:01 PM)**  
Would you like a gift?

 **To: Costa McClure (5:02 PM)**  
what?

 **From: Costa McClure (5:05 PM)**  
I’d be a poor boyfriend if I showed up to meet the family empty-handed.

 **To: Costa McClure (5:06 PM)**  
that’s sweet but they won’t even notice

 **To: Costa McClure (5:06 PM)**  
thank you but don’t worry about it

 **To: Costa McClure (5:11 PM)**  
costa?

 **To: Costa McClure (5:15 PM)**  
costa, no

.

Balthazar, being the only one who can really cook, makes dinner. It’s some kind of pasta dish that looks fantastic, and he makes loads of it so they can have leftovers.

At 5:30 on the dot there’s a knock on the door, and before Peter can get up Benedick is bounding towards the door. Peter mentally braces himself for whatever comment he’s about to make before opening the door.

“He brought flowers,” Ben says, sounding stunned.

“Did he really?” John laughs, but he doesn’t bother to move from the couch. “Peter, you’ve found yourself a romantic.”

Peter fights the urge to rub his hands down his face. “He, uh, wanted to make a good first impression,” he offers weakly.

Freddie nods appreciatively, and Ben opens the door. Sure enough, Costa is standing there with a bouquet of something pretty and white, bouncing on the balls of his feet. If Peter didn’t know any better he’d say that he looked actually nervous.

Costa’s eyes travel the room before landing on Freddie. “My lady!” he says, sweeping straight past Ben into the flat as though he owns it. “I can tell that you’re the authority here, are you not?”

“Uh,” Freddie says. “It’s my name on the lease, so… yes?”

“Then I bring these as a gift to you,” Costa declares, flourishing the flowers towards her, and Freddie’s eyes bulge. “For letting me into your home for the evening.”

“Thank you?” Freddie says, sounding mildly alarmed. “I, uh - I’m Freddie, by the way. Welcome to our flat. That’s Ben-”

“Hullo,” Ben says faintly. Peter wonders if he’d believed that Costa really existed. He’s a little vindictively pleased to see Ben off-kilter.

“-and that’s John, Peter’s brother.”

John pushes himself off the couch and surveys Costa, looking him up and down.

Costa lifts his chin slightly. “Peter says you’re visiting from Auckland?”

“That’s right.” John glances at Peter, smiling crookedly. “Good choice. He’s all right.”

“Brotherly approval!” Costa seems legitimately delighted. He moves over to Peter and, before Peter can react, loops an arm around his waist and smacks a loud kiss on his cheek. “It appears we’ve passed our first test.”

Peter’s too stunned to react - did Costa just _kiss his cheek?_ \- but Freddie saves him. “Actually, there’s one more flatmate, in the kitchen.”

“The kitchen!” Costa detaches himself from Peter and bounds into the kitchen, presumably to compliment Balthazar’s cooking. Peter’s head is spinning too hard to think straight; everything feels too real, all of a sudden, from the flowers to the fact that Costa’s wearing a bow tie to the fact that it rather matters to him that everyone approves of Costa.

“He’s a bit… much,” Ben says uncertainly after a handful of seconds.

“I think he’s fantastic,” John announces. “Peter needs someone loud enough to shout over him.”

Peter shakes his head, focusing in on the conversation. “He’s good at that.”

“Never thought you’d go for an actor,” Freddie muses. “Do we have a vase?”

Ben and Peter scoff in unison, and Freddie nods, unsurprised. “Do we have something that we can pretend is a vase?”

“Water glass,” Balthazar calls from the kitchen.

“Peter, you didn’t say your flatmate was Paige’s musical friend,” Costa says, absolutely delighted. “Do you think he could do the music for Faustus?”

“I’d say ask him, babe,” Peter says laughingly, and then stops cold, because _what._

Costa seems to take it in stride, because Peter can hear him chatting away with Balth, but Peter’s a little stunned by his own mouth turning traitor.

“Babe,” John repeats, thoroughly amused. “Our Peter has it bad.”

“Dinner’s ready,” Balth announces, and Peter remembers that they’re nowhere near done with the night. Ben hasn’t even started shit about the rules yet, they can’t be done.

The shit-starting comes just after Costa has finished rhapsodizing about Balth’s cooking skills, all the while holding Peter’s hand under the table. It feels frighteningly domestic, and Peter would like it to never stop, which is nothing but confusing.

“So, Costa,” Ben says casually, “did you know that Peter is breaking the flat rules to date you?”

Costa lifts his eyebrows. “Is he now?”

“Oh, yes he is. No relationships, it’s a very important rule.”

“Apparently not to Peter,” John says, because he truly is a little shit.

“I like Costa more than I like the rules,” Peter says defensively. It’s certainly true platonically, but he hasn’t considered Costa and relationships in the same thought before, and now Costa’s holding his hand under the dinner table. There’s really no way to deny that they’re in relationship territory now, fake or not.

“You’re quite the romantic,” Costa says, and squeezes Peter’s hand under the table. Peter squeezes back without thinking and then decides, what the hell, this is probably going to be his only chance to date Costa. Why not go all in?

“Well,” Ben says, “regardless, none of us are supposed to be dating anyone. So this dinner is really more of a courtesy to tell you that you won’t be coming around again.”

“We all have to do it,” Freddie adds, sounding put out. “No dating for any of us, we’re not targeting Peter.”

“Ben had to break up with his girlfriend when we added the rule,” Balth says apologetically. “We can’t let Peter date someone when none of us can.”

“That’s a fucking stupid rule,” John says, and eats a bite of pasta.

Freddie gives John the evil eye. “You don’t have context.”

“Don’t need it,” he says around the pasta. “It’s a bad rule.”

“But it’s on the rules list, so we all have to obey it,” Ben says, not sounding the least bit sorry that he’s ruining his supposed best friend’s first serious uni relationship. “Nothing personal, Costa, hope you understand.”

“So no coming over anymore,” Costa muses. “And you’ll be filming, so it’d appear that we can’t see each other outside of the flat.”

“Romantically,” Peter points out. “We can do whatever we want with our friends.” Costa shoots him a slightly-dazzling smile, and Peter smiles right back at him, feeling his gut twist as he does. Costa has a nice smile. A very, very nice smile.

“Ben can’t film you all the time,” John says casually. “Just a fun little tidbit for you.”

And Peter realizes that John is trying to give him a chance. John is doing everything he possibly can to give Peter a relationship that makes him happy. Peter has never loved John more than he does in that moment.

Ben looks like someone has knocked the wind right out of his sails. “It’s the principle of the thing,” he protests. “I could be filming at any moment. Guerrilla filming!”

John frowns. “The fuck do gorillas have to do with it?”

Balthazar chokes on his pasta.

“The point,” Ben continues, half-hysterical, “is that Peter still has a flat punishment to deal with, and if I can’t be dating Bea, then he can’t be dating Costa.”

Costa laces his fingers through Peter’s under the table. “You could always go back on your rules,” he says, casual as you like. “It seems the best path to take.”

Ben turns a shade of rage-red that Peter hasn’t seen since Messina. John gets this delighted look on his face, and Peter is remarkably glad that he has Costa and John on his side to antagonize Ben. His boyfriend and his brother have his back.

Well, not really boyfriend, but that might be a conversation worth having sometime soon.

Freddie, who’s been swiveling her head back and forth like she’s at a tennis match, sets her fork on her plate. “Rules are rules,” she says to Costa, still firm and apologetic. “We’ll bring it up at the flat meeting next month, but till then, it’s a no.”

Costa nods understandingly. “Do as you must,” he says somberly, and Peter never thought he’d like someone who talks like they’re from the seventeenth century, but here they are, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. He squeezes Costa’s hand under the table, and he can practically feel the light of Costa’s answering smile.

“Peter,” Balthazar says abruptly, “weren’t you going to take John to town after dinner?”

Peter glances at John. “If you want?”

John shrugs. “No parties or anything big.”

“Dessert?”

“Now you’re speaking my language.”

“I can give you a ride,” Costa offers. When Peter glances at him, he shrugs. “Jaquie and I will be meeting to discuss the script after this, but it’d be no trouble to drop you somewhere beforehand.”

“That’d be amazing.” Peter smiles, hoping that Costa can feel the genuine warmth behind it.

Freddie clears her throat loudly. “So! John! Talk about something that we don’t know about, we need to move our conversation forward.”

Costa doesn’t let go of Peter’s hand, not even when their palms get sticky from being pressed together for so long. Peter hopes that this isn’t just part of Costa’s method acting.

.

Costa drops him and John off in front of an ice cream parlor, a fair walk’s distance from the flat. John goes in first and gives Peter a meaningful look as he stays behind in Costa’s car.

“So, uh,” Peter begins awkwardly, hoping he can navigate this conversation. “Thank you so much for coming tonight, you’re a lifesaver.”

Costa beams at him, less dazzling than at dinner, more like he’s legitimately happy. “Thank you, Peter. Your flatmates are an interesting bunch, and I’m always happy to practice my improvisational skills.”

Acting. Right. Peter tries not to let his disappointment show through as he laughs. “Yeah, they’re - they kept you on your toes, I bet.”

“That they did.”

Short responses. That means it’s time for him to go. “All right, well, you heard them, you won’t have to cover for me again, so I’ll see you-”

“Peter,” Costa says, and Peter looks at him, and then he _looks_ at him.

Peter thinks, _He brought me flowers._ Peter thinks, _He took me and my brother to an ice cream parlor that’s nowhere near his flat._ Peter thinks, _Most friends would say no when you ask them to pretend to date you._

Peter stops thinking, leans in, and kisses Costa.

Costa kisses back with enthusiasm, one hand coming up to cup the base of Peter’s skull, and Peter silently thanks god that he read these signals right.

“Your flatmates,” Costa gasps when they pull apart. “They won’t-”

“Don’t care,” Peter says, and he doesn’t. He wants this more than he cares about their disapproval. “I like you more anyways.”

Costa’s eyes soften, and he darts in to give Peter one more kiss. “Your brother’s waiting for you.”

“I know.” Peter finds Costa’s hand and squeezes it. “I’ll call you, all right? Or I’ll see you at rehearsal, or-”

“We’ll find time,” Costa promises, and Peter feels giddy as he gets out of the car.

John gives him a smug look as he walks into the ice cream parlor. “That was quite a show.”

Peter’s lips are tingling, and he thinks if he reached into the sky he could pull down a star or two. He still smacks John on the shoulder, because it wouldn’t do to say _thank you for being on my side._ He thinks John understands anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hello on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/ofclseancassidy) or [Tumblr!](http://officialseancassidy.tumblr.com)


End file.
